Friday, September 6, 2013

Pitch Madness SJ-15: BECOMING HERO


Genre:  YA Magical Realism

Word Count:  80,000

Pitch: Comic-book superhero Skye takes on awful plot twists every day, but when his parents die in a nasty cliche, he's had it. He shoots his author. Will murder save his world, or damn his soul?

Excerpt:  
Comic-book Universe: Issue 339

Rain trickles across a fading green dumpster in a narrow alleyway. A dark shadow, a superhero gone bad, stalks the rooftops above, heaving a giant gun off his back as he readies it for his prey.

Skye ignored the stench of the banana peels and burger wrappers crushed against his face and forced himself to breathe steady. He clenched his fingers tighter around the bleeding wound in his shoulder, trying not to think about the infection he'd get from hiding in the dumpster. Just breathe. In, out. In, out. Any change in that pace, and his hunter might hear him. Hunter--that's how he had to think of his best friend now.

The thought sunk into Skye's chest like another punch. Dammit. He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his teeth against the hot tears. How could he—

"I suppose you're wondering how I could do this to you," said a soft voice just above him. Skye heard light footsteps on the dumpster lid, but didn't reply. Mark had walked past his hiding places before.

"You can hear me, right? I know you're nearby. Please just show yourself. Just end this."

Skye heard Mark's feet crunch against the pavement. He heard the rustle of plastic bags being kicked; a nearby window smashed.

"None of this would have hurt if you'd just let me take you out the first time. I didn't want your parents to die. Come on, Skye, you think I wanted Jackie to die for you?"

12 comments:

  1. This is why I'm not still crying over not getting any bids myself. Your pitch is awesome, and your writing is vivid and powerful. I've been hearing lots of stories of now-agented authors who got passed over in PitchMadness and other contests. I will be VERY surprised if this book of yours isn't snatched up in the very near future. It's too fabulous not to be. =) Best of luck in your querying!

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    1. Aw, thank-you! I was super disappointed, but I'm waiting.

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  2. I loved this pitch!! I can't believe you didn't get any bids. Better luck in Pitmad! Someone will totally love this!

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    1. Like I said below and above, don't underestimate the power of your words! This really made my day, honestly, almost as much as getting a request would have. Affirmation is really appreciated!

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  3. This will TOTALLY get picked up! It's genius!

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    1. See, this made me feel a lot better. This is why you're a writer: because words really can make people feel strong. Thank-you!

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  4. I was blown away by this pitch, and I was shocked there were no bids. Hang in there, I think you'll be picked up soon. The concept is brilliant! :)

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  5. I just love this; good things will come your way. Hang in there and get that twitter pitch ready!

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  6. I picked Becoming a Hero because of my 15yo son. He is a HUGE graphic novel fan and hasn't touched a regular novel in a while and I thought this one would tempt him. I ran it past him and I was right. He said this is one he'd start reading and if the writing held him he'd read it all.

    THAT is a HUGE achievement. I hope one day he can read it.

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  7. I've seen this before, and I think your new starting point is much stronger. Good work. I especially liked the pitch line about his parents dying in a nasty cliche.

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  8. I like the concept of the main character knowing about the book and the author. I'm sorry you didn't get an agent offers, but I hope you keep trying because this is a cool premise.

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  9. This is amazing and was in my top 5 of all the entries. I have no doubt you'll get picked up either tomorrow or in querying. I love superhero and comic stuff, and this is so different from all the stuff already out there. Excellent job.

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