Monday, March 2, 2015


Genre: Middle Grade Fantasy
Word Count: 23,000 
Pitch: When aspiring inventor Jello receives a magical gift, he builds a machine to transform his horrible sister. But the plan backfires. His recycled sister is worse than the original. And she’s bent on revenge...
Excerpt: "Happy birthday, Jello." Grace's morning breath blows warm and stale over my face.

I squeeze my eyes tight, pretending to sleep. Being called Jello doesn't get you any cool points in middle school. Grace came up with the nickname when I was a baby. She said my chubby cheeks jiggled like Jello. Our parents thought it was cute, so it stuck like wet toilet paper to my shoe.

"Wake up, Turd Puddle."

I open my eyes. A slimy string of spit wiggles over my face. It drops an inch and quivers before Grace slurps it up and swallows.

"Leave me alone.” I scramble to the far side of my bed.

"Just making sure my little brother’s eleventh birthday's super memorable." Her braces glint like sharp knives in the morning light. "And I’ve got something pretty epic planned for you today."

"Great. You’re moving in with Dad, then?"

Her mouth snaps shut. "Believe me, I would if I could." She grabs the doorknob. It's moments like these I wish my Doorknob Shocker invention worked.

"Better get dressed or you’ll miss out on Hee Haw’s special birthday breakfast." She smirks and slams the door.

I flop back in bed. Maybe, if I’m lucky, my grandmother's cooking will kill me before Grace gets the chance to do it herself.

At the bottom of the stairs a revolting aroma attacks my nostrils. Hee Haw's hunched over the sink draining a chunky gray liquid into a jug. Tied above her plump belly is a frilly apron.

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